A FUNNY THING HAPPENED TO ME ON THE WAY TO THIS BLOG

\
I was twenty-eight when I got married. My mother had a sign:
 last girl before freeway.
Joan Rivers

How wrong Emily Dickinson was. Hope is not 'a thing
with feathers.' The thing with feathers has turned out 
to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in
Zurich.
Woody Allen
**
My boyfriend -- he said to me that he reads Playboy for the
articles. I said, "Yes, I know. I just go to department stores
for the escalators.
Rita Rudner
**
 Yiddish-- a combination of German and Phlegm
   Billy Crystal, accepting the Mark Twain Humor Award
**
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder 
how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. 
Steven Wright


***********************************
The reason I signed the Beatles to a recording contract was 
that I found them
personally very funny."  George Martin

 


ONE OF THE LONGEST & BIGGEST LAUGHS
TO A LINE IN A BROADWAY MUSICAL COMEDY

“But Jumbo was too big for its cash registers, Though it received 
superb notices and played to over a million customers, it lost money. 
A few years ago theWhitneys got some of it back when Metro 
bought the movie rights. I don’t know when the studio is going 
to get around to making this picture, but before it does, I would 
suggest that it send the director to New York and instruct him to 
stand still some night near the parking space at 43rd Street and 
Sixth Avenue where the old Hippodrome stood. If he listens closely, 
he’ll still hear them yocking it up at what drama critics agree was 
the biggest laugh in the history of show business. It came near 
the end of the first act when a sheriff caught  Jimmy Durante trying 
to steal an elephant.
   “Where are ya going with that elephant?” yelled the copper.”
     “What elephant?” asked Jimmy.
 
BILLY ROSE. Wine, Women and Words/ (Simon & Schuster,1948)
 
 **
 
COMEDY/THE COMIC 
 
Jewish comedy is almost inevitably concerned with things 
gastronomical. The Jews enjoy talking about food more than 
any other people. Through many centuries they lived in 
enforced poverty. If they could not invent food out of thin air, 
they could at least invent stories and jokes about it to take their 
minds off their miseries.
 
Steve Allen. Funny Men (New York: Stein & Day, 1981).

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so 
many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. 
Garrison Keillor

Since the days of Pigmeat Markham, not to mention Lenny Bruce, 
the comedian's job has been to say the unsayable -- to give voice 
to the things that stink or bite us in the heart.
Hilton Als. "Bros' Night Out," in The New Yorker (February 10, 2020)

 
Comedians are by nature enemies of boundaries. They live easier 
by the laws of joy which they create than by the laws of good 
behavior which society sets down. Their job description is to 
take liberties – something the public applauds in art but abhors 
in life.
               John Lahr
 
For myself I think it's (psychoanalysis ) is dangerous. Someone who has inner sad feelings about certain things-- instead of them 'burying him, can be put to better use.' If I were to find out that these sad things are truly not sad, I think people would no longer find me funny -- 'cause funny had better be sad somewhere.
Jerry Lewis, quoted in Who the Hell is in the Picture by Peter Bogdanovich 
(New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2004)
 
Funny isn’t about beauty –it’s about freedom.Sometimes that 
freedom leads to disrespect, ridicule, and outright offensiveness.
Robert Mankoff. Cartoon editor for The New Yorker

Woody Allen believes that S.J. Perelman summed up the character
of great comics is one phrase "Baby, it's cold outside".
Quoted by Phil Berger in "The Business of Comedy"
 (The New York Times Magazine, June 9, 1985)
 
The comedian’s slang for a successful show is “I murdered
 them,” which I’m sure came about because you finally realize 
that the audience is capable of murdering you.
 
Steve Martin. Born Standing Up.
 
 
“You may estimate your capacity for Comic perception 
by being able to detect the ridicule of them you love, without l
oving them less:  and more by being able to see yourself 
somewhat ridiculousness in dear eyes, and accepting the 
correction their image of you proposes.”
 
George Meredith. Essay on Comedy.
 
 
 
NOTES TO MONOLOGUES NEVER DELIVERED
 
 At 50th Street and 6th Avenue there is a billboard advertising
THE INVISIBLE MAN...SEE IT ON IMAX. Does viewing someone 
who is invisible on a big screen make it easier not to see him?

During the impeachment trial of President Trump, restaurants 
 in Washington D.C. featured on their menus a brand new 
sea-food dish  -- Squid pro quo.
**
 
 
I grew up in a very tough neighborhood. I remember
My very first alphabet book.  A was for ankle bracelet.
At home our phone had the bail bondsman on speed dial.On my block, if shop lifting were an Olympic event, my friends would take home all the medals—even if they did not win them. Not only was the neighborhood rough, it was terribly Racist. My mother brought home a package of Aunt Jamima mix and the Klan burnt a cross on our front lawn. 



NEW WESTERN IN TOWN: JEKYLL AND HYDE
MEETS THE THREE FACES OF EVE
 
This western is unique because the sheriff is also
the villain, which means that shoot-out is between
the sheriff and himself. Spectators  are confused when 
they see only one person on main street as
the sheriff  is forced to draw against himself.
 
LS. MAIN STREET  OF DODGE. HIGH NOON.
 
GUNSLINGER (TO THE SHERIFF ): This town ain’t big
enough for the two of you, Jekyll and…
 
JEKYLL: Hyde.
 
GUNSLINGER: I ain’t going to hide from the likes of you… two…
 
JEKYLL:  Here comes Eve White.
 
EVE ENTERS:
 
EVE:  High Handsome. Seen Hyde’s hide?
 
JEKYLL: No, Eve…
 
EVE: Eve black.
 
GUNSLINGER SHOOTS. JEKYLL BITES THE DUST. AS
HE DIES HE CHANGES INTO HYDE. EVE BLACK, DISTURBED BY 
WHAT SHE SEES, REVERTS TO EVE WHITE. THE GUNSLINGER 
REMOVES HER SKIN TO REVEAL AN ALIEN FROM ANOTHER PLANET.
 
FADE OUT.
 
 

On a more serious note, my good friend Zoran Amar is raising money on kickstarter for his documentary feature — Invincible Mind. The trailer for the film can be seen below.

Any contribution to help with the completion of the film will be greatly appreciated.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: