BITS & PIECES OF A MISPLACED LIFE

BUMPER STICKERS
 
 
Keep America beautiful -- eat a beer can.
 
**
 
Support your President; burn a copy of the Constitution.
 
 (during the second term of George W. Bush; today more
applicable than ever)
 **
 
God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends
      
  My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
 
     Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
      
      (Spotted on a passing motorcycle)
       If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
 
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping
 
       What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?
 
       Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just Better Rich
 
       Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law
    
       If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen
      
           If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You
    
       The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard
 
     Get a New Car for Your Spouse.  It'll Be a Great Trade
      
       Wanted:  Meaningful Overnight Relationship
      
       Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well
 
       A Day Without Sunshine is Like Night
  
       First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order
  
          Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
      
       In America, Anyone Can Be President.      
 
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
  
       BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  
    So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
    
   I need someone real bad... Are you real bad?
    
        BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.
   

 The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
 
          
       NEBRASKA: At least the cows are sane.
      
       God must love stupid people...He made so many.
 
      Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  
       I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
    
              It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
 

        Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  
 Always remember you're unique... Just like everyone else.
 
         HONK ... If You Want To See My Finger
 
 
        God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
    
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's  permit.
 
 
       Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
    
      Who were the testers for Preparations A through G?
      
       Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
 
       5 days a week my body is a temple. 
      bThe other two, it's an amusement park.
      
       EARTH FIRST!  -We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
 
 
       Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
 
 
        My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...
         or something like that.
 
         Sure you can trust the government! Just ask 
          an Native American!
 
       Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
 
          Nature always bats last.
 
 **
OUTSIDE OF THIS HOUR ON THE SEA
 

Outside of this hour on the sea.
We imagine the Antipodes
Where the sun rises at midnight
&, as Theocritus sd:
“In sleep, every dog dreams of food.”
But when I dream,
I am wandering  in a house
Near the ocean
Where the waves are black & high.
It is my house & not my house ,
& persons inside are quarreling
Because I am late, or early, or lost.
Inside this house,
There is always a room  
I have never known about,
Did not know it existed.
A door opens. Inside is a woman.
She stands with her arms
Folded across her chest,
A sign of  modesty  or diffidence.
“Enter,” she says. “Enter.”
Through a window, the sea surges.
Breaking waves seem to ask:
Why are you here? Where are you?  
Outside of this hour on the sea,
Who am I really?
 
Louis Phillips

9 thoughts on “BITS & PIECES OF A MISPLACED LIFE

  1. Especially liked your Outside piece, Lou

    On Sat, Sep 26, 2020 at 8:38 AM PhillipsMiscellany wrote:

    > > > > > > > louisprofphillips posted: ” > > > > > > BUMPER STICKERS > > > Keep America beautiful — eat a beer can. > > ** > > Support your President; burn a copy of the Constitution. > > (during the second term of George W. Bush; today more > applicable than ever) > ** > &nbsp” > > > >

    Like

  2. You’re on thin ice, boy. A couple of these are close to those in LIFELINES, 2nd ed. I was on speed-dial to my lawyers, but you were shrewd enough to avoid exact wording and then clouded the matter with an original poem.
    You’re a sly devil. No wonder my woman finds you so appealing!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: